The Quarterly Grain Report

Symbolism: Only One Letter, Along With an Additionally Omitted Letter From Embolism

The crucifix necklace. Whoever patented that baby is rolling, and I mean literally rolling as we speak, in dough. But I can't help imagining that the original targeted audience for this ancient piece of bejewelment was the Roman. Who else would splurge for a gaudy necklace, adorned with a most gruesome implement of torture, than those who poularized it?

Just to rub it in the nose of a Christian, our friend Adonis (I can't seem to find my baby-name book for 1 AD) decides to haggle with a local vendor and finally purchase one of those new, super-boss crucifix necklaces, or as they were called in Rome, Victory Neclaces (they also carried steins and foam fingers). The next morn, when Adonis spots his Christian neighbor Amos reading the Times on his porch, he strolls by wearing only his golden necklace, which results in Amos being reduced to a moaning, praying heap, stroking Adonis's ego that much more.

Somehow, the symbol managed to manifest itself into something of a source of strength for these Christians, (or as they are known in Peru, Jesusians) thereby driving up profits exponentially. So, if you're looking for a blue-chip commodity that is very likely to pay major dividends for at least the next 500-1000 years, you simply cannot go wrong with Christ-related paraphernalia. And, if the entrepenuerial bug should happen to bite you, just slap some crucifixes (crucifi?) on some skateboards, call them JesusBoards, and commence rolling.

posted by Arthur Croft Yates @ 7:35 PM