Young Americans
In an effort to avoid simply blending in with the rest of the oily k thru 12-ers, many daring, rebellious teens have taken highly controversial steps to set themselves apart. The rebellious teen of today is typically characterized by the wearing of dark brown to black attire, most of which will display a radically original political phrase. One of the more creative slogans that I have witnessed was something along the lines of "Impeach Bush," but as I can't remember the exact wordage, any attempt to describe the sheer brilliance of this backpack bumpersticker could not possibly do it justice. The most knowledgeable of these students might even dare to raid the political button bargain bin at TJ Maxx, searching for hours on end for a political view that they can claim for ninety-nine cents, as well as one that will match their knapsacks. Once the perfect slogan is discovered and purchased, it is able to be proudly displayed for all other political undecideds to ponder upon.
Many a time I have found myself searching the darkest corners of my soul; aching, longing to feel like I was part of something bigger. An idea to solidify who I was as a human being. A cause. A purpose for life. I used to hope that someday I would find the viewpoint I was looking for, but I was looking in all the wrong places. Or rather, on all the wrong backpacks.
On a crisp winter day, while on a trek to the corner store to satiate my newly acquired taste for Percocet, I happened to glance in front of me at what seemed to be a particularly rebellious-looking, opinionated individual. The backpack strapped to this enlightened human was adorned with a variety of opinions and facts that must have ran a tab upwards of three dollars. Many of the buttons I had seen on similarly individualistic backpacks, but one button in particular spoke to me. I read it over and over again, keeping up with this truly learned person just to make sure the slogan would never escape me. This revealing experience must've lasted for ten city blocks, until the person who I was following became frightened by something and mistakenly sprayed me with mace.
I didn't know why I hadn't adopted this phrase as my life's mantra years ago. It seemed so perfect. The button was absolutely correct in its convictions. The button didn't back down from anybody, and with its newly formed political idea swimming in my head, I wouldn't either. This button changed my life, and for the next few weeks, I made it my duty to spread its message to all who would lend an ear. I can't remember what it said, but I think it had something to do with protection or emulsion or eruption...not important.
But since this episode, I have observed a new trend that is sweeping through the ranks of nonconformist teens at the rate of a steam locomotive. A black t-shirt bearing an encircled Nazi swastika with a diagonal red line through it. These teens are fighting the powers that be with an idea that was adopted by most of the world sixty years ago. These defiant youngsters are proudly proclaiming "I am against Nazism! And along with that, genocide! And I don't care what you have to say, Mom and Dad, cause I don't support sadistic death camps perpetrated my tyrannical despots! I hate you! I'm going to my room!"...(slam)
What a statement. It really takes a courageous free-thinker to publicly display the fact that he/she does not support the regime of Adolf Hitler. I wholeheartedly commend these young adults who are not afraid of the judgment they might receive at the hands of a society that may not be ready to accept such revolutionary, anti-fascist views. And as such, I have compiled a list of other causes that are sure to be silently protested against on the shirts and buttons of the youths of tomorrow:
- Infant Torture
- Recreational Kitten Skinning
- Sweatshop Labor (except for Xboxes)
- Armed Robbery
- Human drug mules (except for heroin)
- Anything that's not Hardcore Motherfucking Metal!!
- G. Gordon Liddy
posted by Arthur Croft Yates @ 7:43 PM
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