Damn You Marie and Pierre Curie! Damn You to Hell!
Profound thought of the day: How large a cotton ball would be needed to kill a human if it were first soaked in rubbing alcohol and then sealed in a Cool Whip tub proportional in size?
Conclusion drawn: One that is reasonably large. I'd imagine that the main obstacle would not necessarily be the ideal dimensions of the cottonous sphere, but would instead be how to acquire a sizeable quantity of rubbing alcohol without giving the impression that you're some kind of drug addict, or worse, an entomologist (assuming, of course, that professionals employ the same methods as morbid schoolchildren). I've luckily been mistaken for an entomologist only twice in all my years, but each misconception resulted in the ingestion of more Gypsy Moth larvae than I would care to mention.
Helpful Hint: Be careful that you do not ingest any moth larvae that you think may have been exposed to acute doses of radiation. In the case that you do, prepare for an unmerciful, internal ravaging, the likes of which haven't been seen since Japan, circa 1961.
posted by Arthur Croft Yates @ 5:53 PM
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